September 11th Memorial- 14 Years Later, I Still Remember

Screen Shot 2015-09-10 at 6.32.37 PM“Though the road has bends and turns, and my spirit suffers,

Humans fail, systems fail, shadows fall.

But the ruts run deep, cut by the blood of faces above,

And voices now silent…

But the message loud is heard: “Homeland, homeland.

Renew your youth, restore your soul!”

Homeland, the country that I love, hold out your arms to me.

I strive for you, and give to you the best I hope to be.Screen Shot 2015-09-10 at 6.29.32 PM

May your wisdom be your armour, your compassion be your sword;

May your strength be forged with mercy, your courage lives restore.

Homeland, the country that I love, forever reign supreme;

And when time stands still, my homeland, may heaven hold your dream.”

– Z. Randall Stroope, Homeland

On 9/11, I was in my first semester of college. I was a member of the Women’s Choir at ASU. Right before Thanksgiving break, our concert included this song, in memory of the terrorist attack that day, and all the lives lost. Someone presented a slideshow over our heads as we sang these words. A slideshow of the memories of that day. The audience was crying through the whole song. I didn’t make it through the second chorus without plenty of tears. Every time I hear this song, even today, I tear up.

I will always remember. After everything, I still give to you everything I hope to be.

God Bless America

First Day of Fall- Where is my Muse?

Today feels like the first day of fall, or the closest you can get to it in North Texas in September.

Rain.

Glorious rain.

It’ll be here for two days.

The unfamiliar sighs of relief from every resident of the Lone Star state have echoed everywhere. Seems like my home has been plagued by a perpetual drought for the last decade. Seattle, Boston, Providence, New York- thanks for sharing some of your commonplace weather with me. They’re worth dancing for here where I live.

My hubby brought back a white chocolate mocha for me from Starbucks. The only things missing are a wood fire and one of my mom’s quilts.

But instead of curling up with a delicious book , I’m banging my head against my keyboard.

That’s right people… I’m stuck.

I can’t get past a certain scene in the manuscript I’ve free-written without any plotting or sketching. And I can’t get my butt in gear to focus on outlining. Not because I keep getting down-trodden from more rejections (I refuse to admit that). But because my muse has decided to hide behind the rain clouds today.

My son’s down for a nap, so I have at least 1.5hrs of free time. And spending it stuck in limbo is as frustrating as a recovering chocoholic in a Buncha-Crunch factory.

I won’t have time later this weekend, since we have a birthday party to go to later today and a bunch of errands tomorrow (and taking time to go to a writer’s meeting).

I thought the rain was supposed to bring out my muse. Why is it hiding? Or perhaps you’re trying to tell me something much more important. That perhaps I don’t want to hear.