Monthly Archives: November 2011

I Hate Crowds- Life of a Writer

Every year I’m reminded that I’m more suited to the life of a writer. I hate crowds. And just thinking about the holiday shopping season, especially Black Friday, makes my skin crawl. And since most great writers of the 20th and 21st centuries were either hermits, or should have been hermits, I realize I have something in common.

Now, I’m by no means considered a hermit. I love my friends, I spend an incredible amount of time with my family (and I love it!), and I don’t have panic attacks when I’m out in public with more than ten people around me.

I love movie theaters (not necessarily waiting in line to buy tickets or watch the next blockbuster), and my fondest memories of childhood involve swimming and diving meets where an insane amount of people are all crammed into a sweltering natatorium cheering on teammates.

But I can’t stand crowds. Not because I’m afraid, but because I lose all patience with the shove of a shoulder. I become not just the wicked witch, but the EVIL witch with the shotgun temper and lead-foot.

While the individuals in a crowd may be nice, gracious, and loveable people, the crowd itself is rude, impatient, thoughtless, and brutal. The epitome of a mob. As evident on Black Friday every single year, we witness these horrible people on the news every time. Crazy crowds with guns, bats, and pepper spray. All for the sake of stupid toys or electronics that may not even be that great of a ‘deal.’

The creation of online shopping has been a gift from the tech industry. I’m sure this has been every writer’s greatest gift in the last decade, as well as their greatest crutch. Anything to allow me the convenience of continuing my love of shopping while avoiding the crowds I detest, I will glorify.

I don’t see myself becoming a hermit at any point in my life, but I can totally understand why a lot of great writers were. And whatever reasons they may have had for living that way back then, the sad thing it’s probably much worse in today’s age. People are crazier, meaner, and could care less about others.

Another tick in the ‘Upsides of a Writer’ column.

I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. Here’s to hoping everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving with their loved ones. And keep the spirit of thankfulness in their hearts throughout the year.

Life Throws Curveballs

And I already suck at batting. So this is just more of a humiliation to suffer through nasty curveballs.

It really hurts to say it, but I need to suspend writing for a while. I’m not sure for how long, but that means I will not be able to complete National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I got half way through it with a lot of momentum still in me, but sometimes we have to adjust to an ever-changing life.

My disappointment can hardly be expressed in words, and not just for the suspension of one of my passions. Something infinitely more dear to me needs more attention.

I’ll admit one of my weaknesses is fear of failure. Or perceived failure. Or that my best is not good enough. And as irrational as that concept is, I can’t help but internalize certain situations that don’t go as I’d hoped or expected. And even worse is when I believe someone else is suffering because of my actions or inactions.

I have the best support system in the world: my family. My friends. Which is why, ironically, it hurts more to ask them for help. If I’m surrounded by so many wonderful people with incredible talent, it’s bound to rub off on me and/or my family. So why would I need help?

Stupid thoughts, I know. But in moments where I need to vent, this is where my mind wanders. And I realize that I will have considerably less time to myself to vent, let alone catch a breath.

Since I’ve struck out during this round at bat, beset by the nasty curveballs, I’ll lick my wounds and change into a cleaner set of clothes. Ready for the next set of curveballs, or sliders, that I’m certain will be thrown at me again very soon. I just hope my passion for writing will still be there when I’m ready.

Juggling Act of Life… Not Always Successful

Life is juggling. At least when you’re a parent. Even though I have only one child, I’ve learned that much. And it makes me wonder for those with multiple kids, especially if close in age like several friends of mine have, how the heck they do it?

Now, I’m not saying that only parents have to juggle and balance life. I know plenty of people who seem much more busy than me who don’t have children.

But this is a different kind of juggling. And trying to write, plot, research, finish my first attempt at National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), AND take care of my son and help him with his development, behavior issues, constant sickness, etc. etc, can at times make me feel like I have a billion balls in the air and I’m dropping a lot of them. Thankfully, most of them are rubber or plastic, so they bounce right back or at least don’t break when they hit the floor.

Unlike my oven this week.

Or the backyard fence last week.

When you throw in expensive repairs like this (on an already somewhat tight budget), I feel like letting all the freakin’ balls drop and I don’t care how many break in the process.

So let’s just say this week was a more disastrous attempt at juggling than most. Already fragile feelings from the week before regarding my son’s development in preschool, combined with little sleep (sick kids don’t sleep, so neither do parents), and it just made the perfect storm of juggling balls.

But on the plus side, I’m 30% done with my NaNoWriMo novel. I hope most NaNo’ers are doing well, and according to Twitter it seems like they’re either kicking my butt or haven’t started. Either way, I wish them luck. Hopefully I’ll achieve one of my 2011 goals I set for myself in January. And not broken too many juggling balls in the process.

On Track for NaNoWriMo

Hooray!

Hooray!

I’m stunned to say it. Yes, I admit, I didn’t think I would be anywhere near this far along in my writing goal for National Novel Writing Month just four days in.

Not that I was rooting for myself to do poorly, but I’m impressed with what I’ve done. I’ve had three GREAT writing days (great for my record anyway, with a 3 year old constantly needing attention). I hope my son doesn’t suffer any trauma by having a slightly less than attentive mother for the next few short weeks.

Granted, I knew I had to over-deliver on certain days because I know there will be times during the month I won’t be able to write at all. (Thanksgiving, for example. What writer can deny that incredible feast and time for reflection. And perhaps a weekend here-and-there for precious time with my hubby). But 16% to goal in just four days, that makes me happy.

And so ensues the Steve Carrell happy dance!

Now back to breakfast. Maybe some writing later. I hope so.

Bring on the Novel Writing Marathon

The novel writing marathon has begun! My first ever participation in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), and I’m off to a decent start. So far, I’ve written 2500 words today, on track to reach the goal of 50,000 words by the end of the month. However I know there will be several days during the month I will not be able to write anything, so I’ll have to make up those words along the way.

All in all, I think I’ll be really happy with myself if I reach 35,000 words by the end of the month. So 50,000 would just be gravy.

So if you don’t hear much from me over the course of the month, that’s why. But I’ll update my word counter on my main page as I go along, so you can keep track with me. And keep me motivated! I’ll need all the help I can get!

Now to bury myself in more words.